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BADASS AWESOME AS FUCK FIRE DRAGON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@swagophile / swagophile.tumblr.com

RAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! RAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT/ITS

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alright all of the main plot is uploaded to ao3, next ill get the thief branch and the dragon branch posted

dragon digression

knight digression

all future writing posts on this blog will be tagged with #my writing, all princessfic posts will be tagged with #princessfic, dragon digression is #digression 1, main plot is #main plot digression, knight digression is #digression 2.

#canon or #non-canon side material (non digression) will be tagged accordingly

all princessgame posts (website coming soon) will be tagged with #princessgame, read the first page here. there we go. thats all my work

Anonymous asked:

You request more attractive Pokémon, but you don’t say which should become attractive. Which Pokémon would you make attractive if given the chance to redesign them?

All of the men. No more Inceroars. Make them beautiful women. They can even be buff and shit. But make th3m all women. Also a lot of the weird ugly ones like jinx

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If I could cast spells or do high level dragon magic I would straight up just start torturing the fuck out of people for no reason. Like who gaf. Thats an ant. Youre asking me to cry over an ant. Fuck off I'm trapping you in an eternal hell dimension that exists only within your mind and feels like it lasts infinities despite the fact that it only lasts like a week until you die of hunger or thirst

okay like power corrupts but it's like not supposed to kick in that fast it's like a gradual decline what the hell you're already at the wishmaster phase come on

Not even about power I was totally chill before I got corrupted by people being to qnnoying. Like if theres an ant or two in ur house who gaf. But like. 300? And theyre all biting at you? Yeah fuck it. Start torturing

If I could cast spells or do high level dragon magic I would straight up just start torturing the fuck out of people for no reason. Like who gaf. Thats an ant. Youre asking me to cry over an ant. Fuck off I'm trapping you in an eternal hell dimension that exists only within your mind and feels like it lasts infinities despite the fact that it only lasts like a week until you die of hunger or thirst

Anonymous asked:

How is the Demon Girl with tiny wings doing?

Idfk they probably molested her or something. Go ask one of the angels. Dragon concerns itself not with things of such little importance

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The self-concious dragongirl would like to know if you think her breath attack is badass

not everyone can be fatalis right away, sweetie. you're still charring them to a crisp, so clearly it must be badass

its so hard being newly hatched sometimes

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If you see me in a dungeon just turn around and never look back. I gaurantee you nothing in my hoard is even worth it. And I don't want to deal with fighting a bunch of the most obnoxious people on earth (high level adventurers). Please just do us both a favor and like. Go kill a powerful lich or something. Yeah. Go find the ancient lich's evil phylactery. Yeah. Deal with undead or something. Just go home. Just. Go home. Sigh

The more I rotate it in my mind the more I realize any fantasy game (tabletop ESPECIALLY) from the perspective of a boss monster must really fucking suck. The average dnd character is like. The Worst Dude. Imagine having to deal with a full squad of The Worst Dude every week trying to kill you. Its not every week of course, probably years in between guys coming at you, but to a creature that lives for thousands of years it must feel like its every other day!!!! Wow that sucks so hard

If you see me in a dungeon just turn around and never look back. I gaurantee you nothing in my hoard is even worth it. And I don't want to deal with fighting a bunch of the most obnoxious people on earth (high level adventurers). Please just do us both a favor and like. Go kill a powerful lich or something. Yeah. Go find the ancient lich's evil phylactery. Yeah. Deal with undead or something. Just go home. Just. Go home. Sigh

the crazy thing is I'M not even particularly attracted to dragons, like, big full size dragons, does absolutely Nothing for me. none. i am incapable of getting any sexual satisfaction from this. its ALL toys

I am very lucky that, as far as I can tell, no one is particularly turned on by getting burned to death by evil fire. I'm sure they're out there of course, but none of them seem to be anywhere near me. Thank god!

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You guys really wanna make the dragon bit permanent huh. No understanding of boundaries, not even one! Not one understanding! No concept. This is why you all have to deal with dragon bit forever now. Dragon eternal. You did this to yourselves. Raaaaah.

There will be NO milf dragon. NO sexy dragon babe. NONE of that. Only BIG RED EVIL FIRE DRAGON. And even if you are still attracted to that, ASEXUAL EVIL RED FIRE DRAGON. You get NOTHING. EXCEPT FIRE. LOTS OF FIRE ATTACK.

You guys really wanna make the dragon bit permanent huh. No understanding of boundaries, not even one! Not one understanding! No concept. This is why you all have to deal with dragon bit forever now. Dragon eternal. You did this to yourselves. Raaaaah.

Instead of slaying the dragon, have you considered:

- Feeding yourself to the dragon

- Offering yourself to the dragon (to be eaten)

- Paying tribute to the dragon (Food (You))

- Bringing all of your friends to meet the dragon (And get eaten (Alongside you))

- Getting eaten by the dragon even though you don't want to

And lastly,

- BURNED BY FIRE ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!

Just a thought!

Women are always fetishizing me for the size of my health bar. Its genuinely exhausting. Nobody has any respect for boss monsters anymore. Everyones just trying to fuck them. It's sad the modern state of affairs. Thankfully, this is solved by Eating Them,

The self-concious dragongirl would like to know if you think her breath attack is badass

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