in the light, you arrive, as the curtain closes

the thing is that most men hate women in general and treat any woman they're close to as an exception. his girlfriend is not like the other girls, his female friend is just like one of the boys, his mother is a saint among women. this is a normal and expected outlook for a man to have, to the point that highlighting all the ways that he hates women in general as being hateful and not just normal has been one of the major projects of feminism.

so when i as a clearly frustrated feminist and a trans woman say "i hate men" i think it's actually very easy for all the men in my life who already understand everything ive just said above (because they're feminists) to understand what i mean by that, and to get that they can represent exceptions to a general feeling of sexgender class resentment. it's really only the men who do not understand the first goddamn thing about feminism or who are completely hair-trigger ready to jump in with white-knight high horse man-defense-league bullshit who object to it.

pretending that you don't understand how i could have men as close friends and family in my life and still genuinely feel that i hate men in general as a category and a social class is just engaging in the same old kind of "first day on earth" willful obtuseness that is characteristic of so much men's rights bullshit and has been for literally ever

reblog this post if you hate men & their bullshit

fuck men, & fuck you if you instinctively defend men from any criticism no matter how general

they are in my ask box just frantic to make this out to be some unhinged & furious harpy screed instead of being completely straightforward and coldly reasoned forward from shit we have all heard all of them say a million times out loud

i know the shit you motherfuckers say when you think you're alone backstage. i know because for a long time there, for some reason, i had to be there when you said it. and it doesn't escape me that part of the reason you are all SO desperate to deny me the position of a woman who can speak about what men are like is that you know that i've heard you drop kayfabe. i've heard your jokes, i've heard the inside script you save for when it's just the boys, i've seen the inside of your precious secret clubhouse because you tried to make me one of you. i know what you people get up to when you think no one's watching and you fucking disgust me. and — men reading this i am looking you right in your fucking eyes — no matter what you convince any onlookers of, you know that i know who most of you are when you think you can get away with it, and it scares you.

this is why it always gets me when people are like "why do you, a trans woman, hate men? shouldn't you understand them since you had to be one" and it's like, no. being a trans woman just means that I'm a woman with the unique and awful experience of seeing exactly how men talk and behave when they think there are no women listening. it means hanging out with your friends and hearing someone casually say how they'd love to rape a girl you know. how could I do anything BUT hate them after that.

I understand that you get food where you get food, but it is off-putting when they ask for your income information and then pray over you at food banks.

Okay what the hell? Sorry to reblog but this just pisses me off. What the HELL does praying over someone accomplish besides shaming them and virtue signaling for yourself?

Like, I'm a Christian so I get praying for someone. Personally I would love to be prayed for right now (the shutdown has affected my family pretty badly), but not while I'm at the food bank! Like there's already a ton of indignities you suffer going to the food bank. I, personally, have experienced expired food, being given food I can't eat with no option to exchange it, limits to the number of times I visit each month (2 days of food for a WHOLE MONTH), and having to give my paystubs over to even receive food.

People don't realize how hard it is to be broke. Everyone polices you to make sure you're Truly Worthy of being helped. We don't need to make that worse by performing religion in a way unasked for by the person that only serves to humiliate them and belittle their struggles (trust me -- if prayer alone could fix this, you wouldn't be at the food bank).

Pray with your actions, not your mouth -- hand over the food. Make sure it's not expired and it's something they can eat, and make sure they know you're here to help and they can come again if they need it.

Being a good Christian is not that hard, but all talk no action isn't going to cut it.

Also-- donate money to the food banks! Getting that sweet, sweet fresh produce and meat and milk will go so much further than 2 cans of kidney beans and tomato soup. And for the love of all things good, DON'T donate expired food.

Lately, ive been inventorying some of my grievances against the church I grew up with. At the time, it seemed awesome that we had a clear mission of feeding the hungry and housing the unhoused. We ran a soup kitchen and a shelter and a warming center.

There was a free breakfast on Sundays if you attended the church service. This seemed reasonable to me because we lived in a very Christian town. I was 16ish at this time, didnt know many people outside of school and church.

Then we took a trip to another church in another city that had a similar mission. They fed the hungry, ran a shelter, and did language tutoring for immigrant children.

If the kids were there on Friday, then we would be taking a field trip to the museum.

But these kids were Muslim, and they go to mosque on Fridays.

This put a really sour taste in my mouth and it colored how I view missionary work as a whole. So when I get back to my city and I get back to volunteering at our shelter, I start thinking about how many people in my city were going hungry because they weren't Christian and didnt want to have to pretend to be Christian to get a free meal.

Probably more than I initially thought. Begin my opinions on colonization.

I then learn about some shelters and missions that actively discourage people from going to non-Christian food banks and some other shady stuff and im like... I can't be the only person who thinks this is weird.

So fast forward. I'm now volunteering for a nonprofit that runs a 'no-questions-asked' food pantry. This project was started because some of our members are food insecure and the local 'resource ministry' makes you submit income information and prays over you, so they wanted options that were a touch less humiliating. We have a little white board on the side of it where people can make suggestions for what to add.

And what do i see?

Someone had erased everything that was on the board (it was a pretty full list last week) and written in a request for information about that resource ministry.

It could be innocent. It could be nothing! It could be that someone truly wants information about that place. Though- they are literally everywhere, it would be hard to not know about them.

However- did you have to erase... all of it? I was there doing inventory and checking expiration dates so we could put in an order, but we're going to have to guess.

Anything that does good is doing good. But after looking through my relationship with Christian orgs somewhat carefully, I got that sour taste again.

I hate the sense that we're competing. What i will probably do is put a copy of our resource guide out instead because it also has... where you can get free clothes and stuff.

But.

I am always finding pamphlets and business cards and tracts in our little pantry and its very frustrating that even when we make intentional secular spaces- guess what! Jesus is here anyways. If you want free food, you have to deal with Jesus.

If you believe that good things come from Christ, then the mission is the food itself. You, the person giving the food, should not be proseletyzing to the person who is hungry. The message is in the kindness. This is what I was always taught! You do good things and then maybe someone else does good things because kindness is infectious!

But I was taught that by people who believed that dangling a carrot in front of someone to get them to go to church was right and true and good and godly, so im back to one where im thinking maybe we just give people their dang can of corn.

I'm a really big fan of appreciating the meaning in time spent with loved ones and lately I've also been really into finding joy in learning about the world around me

my apologies, I took a hit of my pen and it made me feel joyful, hopeful and passionate

Never apologize for joy, passion or hope. For they are what make us human and remind us we are alive.

👍 my epipen❤️

hey bro can i ask you a question that will reveal a deep and fundamental gap in my knowledge of the world

My manager asked me what the “midwest” was. We live in Missouri.

Autism diagnosis questionnaires are kind of like if the only way to diagnose blindness was by having someone list all the things they don't see. Like imagine being brought into a room where you can't see shit and being told "okay list all the things in this room that you can't see or perceive in any way. No you can't feel around that'd be cheating."

"Uhhh furniture?"

"No there's no furniture in this room. If you were truly blind you would have known that."

As a blind person, you'd be amazed how many people act eerily similar to this post. Some people really struggle to understand that blindness is a spectrum and does not necessarily mean no sight at all.

Every time I make or see some sort of a "hey wouldn't it be fucked up and stupid if some physical disability was treated the same way a neurological/psychological health issue is", there's always someone who actually is physically disabled, who reminds me that actually, people absolutely do that to physically disabled people and it's just as fucked up and stupid as I'd have assumed it is. Like having a disability is probably already hard enough without also having to deal with idiots all day.

Come on. Cold open your mid-budget indie RPG with ninety minutes of unskippable slice-of-life bullshit where you can't even save your progress because there's some diegetic reason why save points don't exist until after the inciting crisis hits. You know you want to.

Sometimes girls just piss themselves. That's just part of being a girl. If you even glanced at onimai you'd get this.

listen. it’s 2018. it’s time to admit, finally, that bbc sherlock is, in fact, bad, and was only good because we watched it when we were 15 and didn’t know how to dismantle scripts that SOUND clever but are really just gold-flake covered shit

why did it take me 90 minutes to say this

isnt it maddening how one day ur 9 and u go to middle school and cub scouts and all the kids are cursing and making dirty jokes and drawing dicks and repeating offensive shit they got from watching south park and family guy on their bedroom tv after their parents have gone to bed (on the same channel that shows kids cartoons during the day) and playing horrifically violent games on newgrounds and a handful of the kids u know have straight up told u they do coke, then next thing u know ur an adult and the ppl around u expect u to act like even the slightest exposure to potentially objectionable content or depictions of the human body will instantly and irreversibly shatter any childs fragile innocent mind

and theyre like "prove to me this wont traumatize my children!" and even the ppl who agree w u go "well u see, in other cultures, and in the ancient past, and if u look at this study-" but like. my source is every child whos ever grown up at any point in human history. open ur eyes. we have never been able to stop kids from seeing and repeating adult stuff and we never will, and its always just been fine

t shirt that says if you do not give me written instructions i will kill myself

How it can be..

a lot of people treat drug addicts, gamblers and people with eating disorders like vectors of a contagious disease and think that is activism