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Musical Hell

@musicalhell / musicalhell.tumblr.com

Celebrating the worst--and occasionally the best--in film, television, and theater music.

life actually gets better when you leave the house consistently btw like im serious

if you don't know where to go, just wander! go to the store and don't buy anything, go to the library just to sit and do whatever you were going to do at home, go to a park and just walk around/sit outside for a bit (weather permitting, of course)

just put some headphones in and walk around the block a couple times if you really have nothing else to do, just getting a bit of air and change of scenery is so good for you

me the first few weeks of forcing myself to go on daily walks (it gets better tho)

i really need tumblr to learn the concept of “if you physically cannot do this then this post is not talking about you” because jesus christ.

"Harlander wants to exploit the Creature for his own purposes and Victor treats him with the same unreasonably demanding coldness he received from his own father, but Elizabeth, who as a WOMAN understands the MIRACLE OF CREATION--"

Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there because a) I sincerely doubt the guy who made Crimson Peak is arguing for some inherently feminine divine mother goddess energy, and b) what you're ignoring is that Elizabeth is also a scientist. She is constrained by the societal expectations and restrictions placed upon her, but she remains a scientist, a seeker of knowledge, at heart. And what she has that Victor and Harlander lack is curiosity. Wonder. She approaches the quest for knowledge not from the angle of "how can this benefit me, personally?" or "how can I make this do what I want?" but "what can I learn from this?" and that opens her up to the Creature's inherent innocence and sensitivity. Like Bob/Dmitri in The Shape of Water, who recognizes the Asset is not just something to be exploited in the Cold War shenanigans he's caught up in but a marvelous, intelligent being that deserves freedom and life as much as any other, Elizabeth sees the Creature for who he is, not what she wants him to be. And as Del Toro has told us time and again through his work, without that basic empathy for others we are lost, as individuals and as a species.

Anonymous asked:

sorry if you have been asked this before, but have you seen or listened to Tom Alonso's Phantom?

I have not had the opportunity, no, but I hear it's good!

I need to see The Phantom of the Opera turned into a buddy-cop comedy about the Persian and the Phantom.

  • The Persian gets exiled from his home country, learns Erik's living under the opera house, and keeps tabs on him to make sure he doesn't kill anyone.
  • The Phantom allows it, because it's not like there's anyone else he can show his death traps off to.
  • Meanwhile, there are little non-Phantom-related mysteries that pop up. The Persian, as a police detective, gets inquisitive.
  • He doesn't want to involve Erik, but unfortunately, this guy has an absurd number of skills and special interests that are helpful in these investigations.
  • So now the Persian's got a pet psychopath that he has to keep in line while also asking for said psychopath's help in solving various crimes.
  • The Phantom's the Shawn Spencer type who has ridiculous dramatic schemes (and who likes to show off his death traps).
  • The Persian's the Burton Guster who has to put up with these shenanigans. He is not being paid enough. (No one is paying him).

The Persian: Here are the details that are baffling the police. I need you to help me solve this mystery.

The Phantom: Why would I do that, daroga? This is art! You ask me to deprive a master artist of his liberty? Would you ask me to hang Michelangelo? Imprison Mozart?

The Persian: People are dying.

The Phantom: Great art requires blood! Is the artist the only one who must bleed for his work? True artistry is not tame and subdued. It is pure spirit that tears apart mere flesh through the sheer power of unbridled emotion--

The Persian: There's a cash reward.

The Phantom, thinking about the sweet new bedroom set he wants to buy for Christine: I'm in.

*

The Persian: This locked-room murder is the type of thing you could pull off.

The Phantom: You think I would content myself with such an obvious, amateurish stunt? These are the mere scribblings of a child compared to the masterwork I would create! Besides, I have been here for weeks, neither eating nor sleeping, as I pour my soul into Don Juan Triumphant.

The Persian: I know. Which is why I know you're innocent and I know you could solve this in five minutes.

The Phantom, turning back to the pipe organ: I am sorry, daroga. The muse has me in its thrall, and I cannot neglect my masterwork.

The Persian: I get it. You're baffled. I guess this guy has outwitted you.

The Phantom, rising in a cloud of wrath: HOW DARE YOU?! THERE IS NO MIND THAT CAN OUTMATCH MINE! I SEE ALL, HEAR ALL, KNOW ALL!

The Persian, unimpressed: Prove it.

The Phantom, trudging toward the staircase: Fine. But this better be quick.

*

The Phantom: I have come up with a fool-proof plan to catch the culprit!

The Persian: Don't say trap door.

The Phantom: It is...

The Persian:

The Phantom: ...a kind of opening...

The Persian:

The Phantom: ...in the floor...

The Persian:

The Phantom: ...that one, could, theoretically, use to conceal a trap...

The Persian: Please come up with a different plan.

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Of course it had to be this way. Of course. of course.

If Victor Frankenstein is the shitty, abusive parent, of course the Creature has to be the abused and neglected child but by God, did GdT commit.

He did not have to go this hard.

He did not have to film Jacob Elordi like that, curling in on himself, folding all his miles-long limbs up into the fetal position because no one else will hold him. Watching a leaf float away, out of his cold, dark prison, with nothing short of wonder. Gazing at the camera with his big, soulful eyes. Meeting a wild and dangerous creature and gently feeding it a berry.

Being able to speak only one word, the most important one, Victor, because this - his father - is the only thing in the world to him.

And of course Victor, tragically commonly unequipped to handle the responsibility of parenthood, resents him for it. He built the Creature from the ground, exactly as he wanted, carefully chose every bone, every muscle, every neuron in his body. And yet, when he comes to life, when he breathes, and moves, and needs, Victor recoils. All his hard work, the toiling that drove him to near insanity, was only just the beginning. But this, this slow caretaking, this is different: there's no glory in it. Not the excitement of discovery, not the grandiosity of defying God and nature. This work is repetitive, frustrating, exhausting, and Victor very quickly tires of it.

I do not need to explain the metaphor.

This is usually where the story turns around and says, well, it can't be denied that the Creature is horrible to look at. He is violent and dangerous. Victor may have failed but really, can we blame him?

Well. Yes we can.

GdT certainly thinks so, as he cradles the Creature in his arms and tells him, You're perfect, you have never done anything wrong. I have seen people say that this Creature is too sympathetic, the film lacks subtlety and nuance, but damn, don't we need this. Don't we need to fully and unequivocally sympathise with that which is labeled grotesque, and don't we need to condemn people who fail in their responsibility to those under their care.

People who say the creature is too sympathetic haven't read the book. The creature is characterised, especially early in the book, by his delight in the world around him, mixed with a deep yearning for connection and, after experiencing violence for his appearance, a great fear of rejection.

Page 105, as Victor berates the creature and the creature tries to explain himself: "'Will no entreaties cause thee to turn a favourable eye upon thy creature, who implores thy goodness and compassion? Believe me, Frankenstein, I was benevolent; my soul glowed with love and humanity; but am I not alone, miserably alone?'"

Page 109, the beginning of the creature's side of the story: "I gradually saw plainly the clear stream that supplied me with drink and the trees that shaded me with their foliage. I was delighted when I first discovered that a pleasant sound, which often saluted my ears, proceeded from the throats of the little winged animals who had often intercepted the light from my eyes. [...] Sometimes I tried to imitate the pleasant songs of the birds but was unable. Sometimes I wished to express my sensations in my own mode, but the uncouth and inarticulate sounds which broke from me frightened me into silence again."

Page 114, as the creature watches the family in the farmhouse: "The silver hair and benevolent countenance of the aged cottager won my reverence, while the gentle manners of the girl enticed my love. He played a sweet mournful air which I percieved drew tears from the eyes of his amiable companion, of which the old man took no notice, until she sobbed audibly; he then pronounced a few sounds, and the fair creature, leaving her work, knelt at his feet. He raised her and smiled with such kindness and affection that I felt sensations of a peculiar and overpowering nature; they were a mixture of pain and pleasure, such as I had never before experienced, either from hunger or cold, warmth or food; and I withdrew from the window, unable to bear these emotions."

Personally, I found that the most book faithful aspect of the adaptation was the creature's emotionality. It came through beautifully.

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