Snippet Sunday!
Thank you so much for the WIP tag @mircallaruthven ! Tagging @too-feanorian-for-this-shit @starshadeemilyart @thescrapwitch @starspray @annarobots @seaemberthesecond if you’re down! Enjoy a little snippet from the Prayers AU spinoff, aka Maedhros encountering a group of gap-year British teens on a lads holiday and immediately starts throwing chairs. Aka…
Comrade when 🇬🇧 schoolgirls are homophobic to him: 😔
Comrade when 🇬🇧 schoolboys are homophobic to Finnu:
“No, no, you don’t worry your small head. No talking needed. Only three words. First thing I’ll do when I come to your house is say salaam alaikyum, sahib. That is all. My respectful greeting to your father, because I am a respectful man. Then, I will fuck him. You hear me? I will fuck your father. I will fuck him so well, from that day onwards he will call your mummy ‘Comrade’ in bed every night. Your grandfather is also living? How old he is? Where he lives? Answer me or the next chair breaks on your face!”
“Ah—ouch! Fine! He’s eighty! He lives in Dorset! Let me go, please!”
“Eighty!? Good for him. Mashallah, he must be blessed to live so long… your kind normally do, don’t they? Like bloody cats, with nine lives,” Maedhros smiles affectionately, and then yanks on the boy’s ear even harder so they’re nose to nose. “I’ll fuck him too. Him I will fuck so deep for so long we will both travel back in time and your father will come out of the womb with bright red hair and liking of small dogs. You know Doctor Who? Like that. But fucking version of Doctor Who. Because I will fuck your grandfather. Then I will fuck your uncles, your cousins and your neighbours. They will take one look at me fucking your father and then all will be begging me to fuck them. And I will give them what they need, because I am a Communist. I will fuck them one by one. You have a pet fish? Great. My sons had a cat. Good and responsible habit, keeping a pet. I’ll fuck your pet fish. You have two? I will fuck them both. You have a dog? I won’t fuck your dog, but I’ll call my brother Celegorm and he will fuck your dog. I will fuck your teachers, I will fuck your bus driver, and I will fuck your friends. I will fuck your MP and I will fuck your church vicar. Your mother and sisters, you know what I will do to them?”
“I don’t know!” the youth squirms, trying to extricate himself. “I don’t know! Fuck them?”
Maedhros lets go of the now-purple ear, draws his arm upwards and delivers a resounding slap, topping it up with a backhand. “How can you dare to say something like that. About your own mother! Shameless fucker! Of course I won’t. I am the number one respecter of ladies. Just for that I will fuck your father twice. Now you wear this hat, go stand in that corner and write an apology letter to my friend here.”