@autisticthassarian / autisticthassarian.tumblr.com
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How come TME people’s truama from cis men overrides trans women’s safety and housing (due to how we remind them of men?)…
but when TMA people have trauma from men, we “have unhealthy relationships with transmasculinity” when we have trauma responses to people who are actually men?
Imagine if a trans woman or other TMA person suggested “No men, cis or otherwise, due to personal trauma from men” on a housing ad. The entire queer community would throw a fucking fit.
But in EVERY SINGLE QUEER SPACE EVER “Afab-only” is somehow acceptable discrimination to bar trans women from life-saving resources, spaces, and housing.
Limmy deleted best tweet of all time I'm so mad
Happy Pride
remembering my grandmother today and thinking about how when i came out as trans to her (in her mid-80's) her response was "okay. am i supposed to be surprised?" and then while i was laughing my ass off she filled me in on the fact that she'd suspected for years, and apparently had shared an apartment with two "girls like you" back in the 70's. RIP to a real one, love that lady <3
she also struggled with my pronouns and occasionally said stupid ignorant shit, but whenever you pointed that out to her she was like "hm, yeah, that makes sense, i see why that'd be bad." and even as her memory was starting to go she tried really hard to correct her speech and behavior. she never stopped trying. so, here's your daily reminder that when people excuse older folks for being shitty because they were "a product of their time", so was she. She was a product of growing up in the great depression, and she wanted to make sure everyone had food on the table. She was a product of living through world war two, and never wanted another living soul to fight in a war. She was a product of being a young woman during the civil rights movement, and she was an outspoken advocate for civil rights all her life. She was a product of the aids crisis, and saw her friends and her daughters friends die from the willful neglect of her government, and she never stopped hating those in power for it.
Her language was faulty, she struggled with some new concepts, but she was a product of a society that had seen decades of cultural upset over the issues of the day, and she never settled for the world as it was. She was a product of a time that was hell-bent on change, and she never closed her mind to the possibility that there was more work to be done.
The older people in your world that are racist and sexist and homophobic and transphobic are not products of their time, they're a product of refusing to accept that times will change. I don't know how anyone can live through the twentieth century and not come away believing that the world is in a constant state of flux, that adaptation and education and changing with the times is a must. My grandmother was a product of her time. Her compassion, her love, her acceptance, that was all a product of her time. It was a product of bearing witness to a world on fire, a world undergoing change, a world being forced to accept new ideas and new understandings. She was a product of her time. It was a badge of honor, not an excuse.
remembering the bleak state of politics regarding children in wider society that when people say "you were mistreated by your parents as a child" 90% of the time its supposed to be an insult towards your character and not an appeal of sympathy
the thing is obviously its true that women on average expend a lot more timemoneyeffort on their appearance than men and so in that sense -- which is the only sense capable of engaging with what 'beauty' means -- i would suspect it's also true than a woman on average is more attractive than her boyfriend and men just like expect this to be the case and assume their girlfriends owe them this effort and beauty whereas they themselves don't have any such reciprocal obligation. but instead of looking at this and thinking wow it sucks that we evaluate womens worth by their appearance, many people will instead somehow come up with wow it would be good for feminism if the rules for punishing marked physical traits were more consistently applied to more men
Stop discouraging fujoshis you're really fucking things up for bisexual men who want a girl dom to instruct them how to fuck another man for her amusement
"The fujoshis are FETISHIZING GAY SEX. They're VOYEURS. They see men fucking as a DIRTY LITTLE KINK. Mlm are just FUCKTOYS FOR THEM TO JERK OFF TO" Oh god do you promise
a lot of people treat drug addicts, gamblers and people with eating disorders like vectors of a contagious disease and think that is activism
“Ugh can’t stand babies they cry so much!”
That tiny Human spirit has shat himself 4 times today if you’d shat yourself 4 times by noon you’d be in hysterics too
He fell asleep in his bed, at home, and woke up at the goddamn grocery store with an overhead light in his face if that happened to you you’d become The Joker
Poor guy’s only been here for like a dozen weeks he doesn’t even have a favorite show to distract him yet he’s just raw-dogging reality unfiltered with no goddamn Blorbos to rotate whatsoever
Dude has, at this point, one communication signal.
Fortunately for him, it is a very important communication signal, especially given what he's going through right now. It says, "This is, in some way, unsatisfactory." Unfortunately, it's not very specific and he doesn't understand much about how to deploy it.
You have to understand, the stomach ache that he has right now is the worst stomach ache in the universe, because as far as he's concerned, the universe is maybe a month old and there's been a limited number of stomach aches in it. Or, the loneliness and anguish he felt when he couldn't see you was the most terrifying isolation in the universe, akin to being adrift in the Boötes Void, for the very same reason. He does not have guidelines to cope with these things. He has barely accumulated enough of a dataset to start evaluating things like, "Most times, when people I know go away, they will reappear eventually," or, "that particular stomach ache will go away if I eat something." He doesn't even know which particular problems can be cured and which can't. He just knows that "technique: scream like fucking banshee" does have some sort of a success rate.
And it's his only move, you think he's not gonna spam it? Get real.
At one point I had a housemate who had been through multiple abusive or at least unhealthy relationships, and it effected the way they interacted with the world and others around them.
One of the effects was that they couldn't admit to mistakes or accidents. They would lie when they could, and they'd try to cover it up when they could.
One day, they broke one of my glass dishes in the kitchen. I wasn't at home at the time, so they cleaned up in a hurry and then hurriedly scrambled to glue it back together. They never said anything to me, and I wouldn't have ever noticed-
Except I walk barefoot in my home and two steps into the kitchen I had a small shard of glass in my foot. Looking for a source, I noticed the dish in the drain, and looked a lot more closely at it than I normally would have, and noticed a small piece missing from where they had glued two larger pieces together.
It took me a good twenty minutes to fish that glass out of my foot. I then went and vacuumed very throughly, as two dogs and a cat lived in that house, along with the humans.
If they hadn't been stuck in the patterns they learned when they were younger, they might have told me about the glass, and I could have worn shoes until it was safe. They might have spent longer cleaning it up and making sure the floor was safe, instead of trying to cover up their mistake by gluing the dish back together.
If they could have broken out of those patterns, they would not have put those around them in harm's way.
Break out of your unhealthy patterns. They're hurting you, and they're hurting the people around you. If someone over reacts to something like a broken bowl, the answer is to remove them from your life, not to go around gluing bowls back together without saying anything.
I forgot to say it, but this is both metaphorical and literal. It was a very real shard of glass in my foot AND a lot of us pick up unhealthy coping mechanisms and then go on to unintentionally hurt others. So please, please, work on identifying behaviors and thoughts that end up hurting you and those around you.
Because sometimes it's not just a shard of glass. Sometimes it's a lot bigger and more harmful.
Not a palace, but it had everything I needed — my corner, my bed, my memories, my little peace of mind after long days.
I'm a university student. I had a simple life — studying, trying to work, trying to build something for myself.
Then the war came… and didn’t ask who we are or what we had.
Suddenly, everything was gone.
The house is destroyed.
The feeling of safety? Gone. Even the smallest things became a dream.
Now, I’m trying to start from zero. But zero is hard when you have no place to stay… and no support.
I’m asking for help — any kind of help — so I can stand on my feet again, continue my studies, and hopefully have a roof over my head again 🏠🙏
Even the smallest donation can make a huge difference.
And if you can’t donate, please just share this story — maybe it’ll reach someone who can.
getting lost in boston is fun because I turned around on a street corner three times and some guy yelled "hey stupid! the bus is that way!" very helpful interaction and accurate insult, 10/10 no notes
one time I walked around a building a couple times looking for a bathroom and this guy went "this bitch thinks she's on a merrygoround, where the fuck are you tryna go? bathroom? one floor down to the right behind the door that says bathroom."
something that is still a culture shock for me is eagerness of Americans to wear pajamas in public